Soundgarden always got everything right – except their name. The band who first played grunge, even before that musical microcosm had a name or locale, Soundgarden unleashed their muddy blend of heavy metal and slowly-paced sludge rock in the late-1980s, at a time where most metal either resorted to the pop inflections of Poison and their brethren or the stripped-down brute intensity of Guns ‘N’ Roses.

Congratulations. You’ve made it to Tuesday. I bet you had your doubts, after the countless stories of birds falling from the sky and fish turning up dead. I personally became concerned when I heard the Mila Kunis and Macaulay Culkin break-up story.

Happy New Year. Well, at least that’s the plan. So far, the most poignant news story of the year has to be the strange occurrence of hundreds of birds almost instantaneously dropping dead in Arkansas. The government is supposed to be behind it.

For those of us depressed that the holidays are over, or perhaps relieved to be out of the snow (raises hand) we can be thankful there’s a smorgasbord of Hollywood News to cap off 2010 (by news I mean pointless updates about other people’s lives).

‘Tis the season to buy that special someone a gift they’ll always remember. Unless you don’t have any money, of course. The Top gifts no one can afford to buy.

Well we kick off the work-week, today. Half of us having seen Avatar, the other half still snowed in. If you’re an actor in Hollywood, it’s probably no different than any other day–the gym just happens to be a little more crowded.

Tom Brady and Giselle Bundchen have their first child, and Bridget Moynahan pitches her two cents in. Nicholas Cage finds himself between an ex-wife and a hard place, good luck sport. Variety Magazine makes an announcement to help increase the bottom line, while I just continue working from the bottom.

John Stamos faces heat from possible extortionists, while Nicky Hilton follows in her sister’s footsteps–getting robbed. Also, news on one of the biggest mergers in Hollywood History. This is exciting.

MTV’s newest show is boycotted by advertisers, while I begin my boycott against Tiger Woods. I’m starting to lose my mind with all the non-sensical, Hollywood chatter. Here comes Shakira to the rescue…

It always happens when you’re not looking, right? Well, you couldn’t possibly be looking any harder than you do when you’re trolling the interwebs for the love of your life.