Brangelina: You Gotta Keep em’ Seperated
This just in to Daily Drama: a million of pounds of salami was recalled due to fears of salmonella. Most actors are on a salami free diet, nevertheless, this is an important shake-up in the world. The only thing more burdensome than losing salami, is the pending news of a Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie break-up.
The face that could launch a thousand ships. And the guy that wouldn't know how to sail them.
The two won’t answer rumors yet, probably because Angelina is busy nursing seven babies and Brad is getting busy. The two are in full denial mode, killing time until its just right to announce the news, most likely Oscar Night, or during the President’s State of the Union address, whichever is most inconvenient.
Where there’s a denial, there’s a London media publication to counter it:
“The paperwork is already organized for a breakup – and for it to be as unmessy for them as possible,” the London News of The World reported Sunday.
Since unmessy isn’t really a word, I’m assuming they just want to milk as much out of this as possible.
But what else is sparking rumors? It looks like Jolie doesn’t like her New Orleans digs.
“Brad loves spending time in New Orleans, but Angie doesn’t,” the source dished. “They fight because of it… She keeps yelling at him that she hates New Orleans and never wants to go back.”
Ah, so she’s a Vikings fan…
Brad seems like a stand-up guy, Angelina seems like she just likes it standing up. I have nothing against the couple (or standing up), but I would prefer that we end all of this talk now before Tiger Woods name surfaces in the whole mess (speaking of unmessy…).
The National Enquirer reported that Pitt and Jolie had a heated argument Jan. 6 inside the Alto restaurant in midtown Manhattan. But just three days earlier, a source also told the Daily News, the duo shared a “pleasant” meal of foie gras, cold salad and roasted chicken at Le Perigord on 52nd St.
Cold Salad. Foie Gras. Roasted Chicken. The same food items consumed by Ben Affleck and J. Lo before they split ways. But don’t fret, here are the bright words of Pierre, a server at the restarunt, to comfort our curiosity.
“They looked happy – very, very happy. I don’t think they have a problem together,”
Maybe the service was just that excellent? Even the most treacherous argument could be quelled by quality service, wine recommendations, and folding your napkin into a triangle when you leave to go to the john. It’s going that extra mile that can make the difference between being happy in a relationship.
The real question: how happy is Brangelina? Stay tuned.
