Chris Brown and His Final Tweets…
Alright everyone, I know you’re waiting with baited breath, but I have some good news: The Senate (derived from the Latin word senex, which by definition means old man) is geting close to an agreement on health care reform. They’re now axing the medicare expansion in favor of moving the comprehensive bill forward. You know what this means? Gossip in Hollywood is now becoming even less important!
On that note, here’s some celebrity gossip to keep everyone grounded.
Your Daily Drama for December 15, 2009.
Kate Hudson and baseball slugger Alex Rodriguez have decided love is not for them, or they’ve just reach an agreement that they’re not meant for each other. Whichever the case may be, they’ve stopped sleeping with each other (exclusively) and they’ve called their relationship off. The word on Wall Street caused the dow to drop a half a point, while Rodriguez was rewarded with a 200 grand, dumping-a-famous-girl-performance bonus as part of his 200 million dollar contract.
A source close to the situation, or in other words, some mangy guy with a camera and notepad, saw A-rod putting the make on some Miami girls this past weekend.
“They are totally over,” a source told HollywoodLife.
How can we be so sure? I need more gossip.
“He was acting VERY single, and Kate Hudson was definitely not there,” said a spywitness.
Okay, now I believe it. 
Whether it’s hitting home runs, or hitting on the friday night girls, A-rod’s proclivity for cheating seems to still be in it’s prime.
Let’s just hope the spywitness wasn’t Hudson, or else A-Rod could be dealing with a whole lot worse than a post-season slump.
In other heartwarming tales infusing us with passion for life, Kourtney Kardashian had a baby. Why is this news you ask? Why should you care about someone you don’t know having a baby? Surely, there are babies born every day that don’t receive nearly the publicity as Kourtney Kardashian’s kid, what makes this so different?
I say to you, “calm down, young patron, and come hither. This is the land of the celebrity, take your wisdom and prudence and go opposite the vision of thy moral compass. In this land, we care not about sensibility, but rather of publicity. Follow thy leader and bask in the glory of the insatiable appetites of said celebrities. Be strong and kind, my patron. And don’t call me Surely…”
So there you go…
She had a baby. It weighed 7 pounds 6 ounces. Go forward and humble thyself with such knowledge. Gods Speed.
Wrapping up today’s final bout of knowledge: Chris Brown has canceled his Twitter account.
Pause.
A-maz-ing Grace…how sweet…the sound….
Chris Brown’s irate state of mind was shining bright as the morning star, until he canceled his account Monday afternoon. The singer in so doing abandoned tens of thousands of followers, in the same fashion that the guards abandoned those drowning in the cold waters of the pacific in the smash block-buster, Titanic.
But what would cause America’s most erratic male, performer (see Lady Gaga, I haven’t forgotten about you) to abandon his fellow tweeters? Well, according to one of his final tweets, he couldn’t find his album on the shelves at Wal-Mart.
“The[y] didn’t even have my album in the back … not on shelves, saw for myself.” Brown said he talked to the store’s managers and “they didn’t even know anything. Wow!!! But they had Alicia Keys album ready for release for this Tuesday comin … the manager told me that when there are new releases it’s mandatory to put em on the shelves … BUT NO SIGN OF #GRAFFITI. BS.”
I believe he is missing a couple of “wurds” in there somewhere.
It’s a little hard for me to digest–the old men in Washington are making strides but Chris Brown’s record is no where to be found. Obama promised change–it’s time he delivers on his campaign promises.
Hells Bells.
