Okay, so I played backyard football yesterday with twenty of my closest friends. It’s been a while since I’ve laced them up, so I’m in a pretty good deal of pain as I type this. I apologize for the delay. I realize it’s after 7 pm and you’re just now getting your Daily Drama. I hope everyone can find it in their hearts to forgive me.

Your Daily Drama (finally) for Friday, November 27.

Tiger Woods drove into the trees…his car that is. History’s second most notorious Golfer (Mr. Smalls will always be first) pinned his car to a tree, early Friday morning. Windermere Police officers were the first to respond to the scene that was “spitting distance” from the Tiger’s home in Islesworth, Fla., according to Windermere Police Chief Daniel Saylor.

“When they got there, he was laying in the street,” Saylor told PEOPLE MAGAZINE. “His wife had broken out the back window with a golf club to get into the vehicle and pull him out.”

Not only does Tiger have over a billion dollars, he now has my fantasy of beautiful Swedish women rescuing me from a near fatal accident.

“She used two golf clubs,” Saylor says. “She bent one and used another one.”

Bent the golf club? What else did she do—pick the car up with her other hand and put it back on the driveway? There you go fellas: she cooks, cleans, she’s drop dead-gorgeous, and she also saves lives. Bring her home to Dad…

Tiger was unavailable for comment. His caddy did comment and said he glad Tiger was in good condition, but said his wife should have gone with the Driver instead of the three-wood to break the back window.

Let the big dog eat.

A further development in the story that people are inexplicably still talking about: the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation is livind over CBS blurring Adam Lambert’s AMA smooch.

“I would have hoped CBS would provide the same treatment for images of gay and lesbian people and not create an unfair double standard that treats our community differently,” they said in a statement.

The double standard refers to CBS openly showing Madonna and Britney spears in a mug down a couple of years ago.

So what’s the issue here? Is CBS being partisan towards lesbians or are they defaming Gay men?

Here’s CBS canned response: “The Adam Lambert image is a subject of great current controversy, has not been nearly as widely disseminated, and for all we know, may still lead to legal consequences.”

It’s not being disseminate because people would rather see women kiss each other than men. Anyone disagree with that? I don’t think that’s a secret. Lambert knew what he was doing, the keyboardist might not have but he fell on the grenade and got his picture in the papers.

The real tragedy here isn’t in the regulation of replaying footage of men kissing, it’s in seeing a terrible musician trying to milk publicity out of an act that was meant to shock people. The focus should be on Lambert’s lack of talent, not on the way he personally goes about his life. The matter isn’t whether kissing men on national television is acceptable; it should focus on preventing an individual with no talent from appearing on a national stage, t hat will end a lot of controversies before they even start.

I’m stopping with two stories today. Before I say anything else that will flood my e-mail with Lambert fan’s angry responses.

I’m going in…