The sun came up today. That’s about  all the good news I have. I have stories about celebrities, fake and real alike; this alone should make you feel warm inside.

Time to get cozy. Your Daily Drama for Thursday, November 19th.

It wouldn’t be drama if we didn’t have a Robert Pattinson update: He joked on Letterman about his affinity for biting people.

“There was a guy, maybe a 230-pound guy who was at the premiere, kind of maybe Hispanic looking, and he was asking me to bite him as well. And so I did, and the surprising thing was, I kind of liked it afterwards,” he joked.

This is just getting unfair. Pattinson has his pick of the litter with every screaming girl in America. Now Pattinson’s  putting the make on large hispanics. Life isn’t fair.

“…It depends on your mood, really,” he laughed. “And it depends on what you want to get out of it. There’s variations of biting.”

He laughs, but it’s true. I remember my first biting, back in ‘02. I was a junior in High School. The leaves were autumn brown and the air was April crisp. I was serenading a young Freshman named Caroline. Let’s just say she was out way past curfew…

The rest as they say is history.

I digress. Let’s get to the serious stuff.

Letterman got down to the brass tacks and asked Pattinson about his love life, aside from biting people.

“I’ve been so, kind of, cryptically avoiding this question throughout the entire press tour…”

Hollywood to English translation book says:

The producers and execs thought it would be a good way  to promote the film if we were in an ambiguous relationship that generated interest in our lives outside the film.

Next chapter in the saga continues…

Moving forward from the vampire world to the home and garden world, Martha Stewart announced the financial fallout resulting from her stay in the clink.

“Probably more than a billion dollars, of course.”

Or roughly, 55 million subscriptions to Martha Stewart Living, give or take. But that’s only the tip of the ice-berg. Imagine what could have been done with all that money?

“When you are prosecuted in such a way, and a great portion of wealth is dissipated, all I can think so much is what I could have done with all that, and for the good of mankind…”

There are starving children in Africa, without 1000 thread count sheets. We’ve become so insular as Americans, we don’t realize that mankind is suffering and that we’re doing nothing about it. We lost our focus when Martha got locked up, and now it’s time to get our game faces on now that she’s back.

“How can I kick myself? There are other people to be kicked…let’s get on with the future.”

So in the future, look for this special treat in the holiday issue of Martha Stewart Living: A lovely Rosemary chicken, the perfect compliment to Martha’s Christmas cornocopia. All of the proceeds go to beautifying kitchens and homes for all of mankind.

Finally, today’s most highly overpaid Hollywood actor’s, according to Forbes.com. If it was my list, it would be from A to Z and would stretch seven miles beyond Hollywood Boulevard.

Will Ferrel tops the list. He was paid a dollar for every 3 dollars his films made. Ewan McGregor was second, with his films earning 3.75 for every dollar he was paid.

Shia LaBeouf was the last on the list: for every dollar he was paid, his films made 16o dollars. That could eventually be given back, pending the case result of The People Vs. Michael Bay. Stay tuned.

It’s starting to get cloudy outside…